"The process"...

This past year was a complete whirlwind. On March 17, 2008 we registered with Children's Home Society & Family Services, located in St. Paul. (I thought it was April but after looking at our records it was March.) We were unfamiliar with agencies in the area but after seeking information out with others that have been through the process we made the decision to work with Children's Home (CHSFS). We finished our application and sent it to them April 1. On April 17th and 18th we attended Preadoptive Counseling (PAC) group sessions. They were very in-depth and covered topics such as grief and loss, adoption from the perspective of all persons involved...birthparents, grandparents, siblings, adoptive parents, etc..., and also program specific information...each individual country that CHSFS works with, there were Q & A with adoptive parents, adopted kids, birthmothers, social workers... We were also sent home with "Self Study" questions that we each had to complete prior to our "adoption study interviews". These questions were everything from our own childhood...our relationship with our mothers, fathers, siblings...how we were raised, discipline...memories we were fond of, memories we were not, our transistion from adolescence to adulthood, our relationship with each other, how we raise Kole etc...etc... it was very thorough to say the least! On May 21 we had our interviews in the office of CHSFS and then on June 12 we had our homestudy done where our social worker, Angie, came to our home. Kole gave her a tour of our house and then we talked for close to four hours. (Thank goodness that after the "tour" and a short talk with Kole he was picked up by Grandpa. Could you imagine a 3 year old sitting for that long?!) After the homestudy it was time to get our dossier prepared and our profiles put together.

The dossier contained numerous documents:

Family profile, letter to the Embassy, letter to the Womens Ministry of Affairs, photos, home study report, powers of attorney, birth certificates, marriage certificate, letters of recommendation, letters from the police stating that we weren't criminals, letters from the bank saying that we were in good standing, medical certificates, employers letters, income tax statements...and I'm sure there was more, I just can't remember it all right now...I was just so relieved to finally have it all done! And of course every document had to be notarized too.

We are also listed domestically, which means our profile is in the "big book". This means that a birthmother who is thinking of making an adoption plan who comes into the office at CHSFS can see our profile and choose for us to have a "match meeting". This however has been extremely slow. The chances of this happening before our referral to Ethiopia is extremely thin. During our dossier preparation we did make our profile however. It is basically two pages (front and back) that we were able to attach pictures and a "letter to the Birthparent" describing us and why we should be the ones to parent their child. It was almost impossible to portray our lives in such little space! We did the best we could and put it in Gods hands. In the year 2008, 136 potential birthmothers came in for counseling but only 24 placements were made. The remaining decided to either parent the child or abort. There are currently over 90 couples in "the book" hoping to adopt.

On July 29 (Dan) and on July 30 (myself) had to go to USCIS in St. Paul for fingerprinting. Why our appointments weren't scheduled on the same day we do not know! On July 31, our dossier was officially "in country". We were told then that there was a 7-9 month wait for our referral. This means a child will be referred to us...we will receive their picture and what health history they have. We specified 0-12 months however we did not specify boy or girl. We will then be able to have the records looked over by a doctor here and either accept the referral or not. (Like our hearts could or would possibly deny at that point!!!) Once we accept the referral, our paperwork is submitted to the Ethiopian court. Court order is issued and a birth certificate is issued. We file for a visa approval. Our child is also issued a visa and ready to travel. This court process, once we receive the referral, takes an additional three months. Once this happens and it is final we will travel to pick up our child. However, we are now being told it will be closer to 12 months until we get the referral. We are hoping that timeframes speed up but are being told that adoption in general, regardless of the country, is hard right now. At this point, everything is out of our control. We have done what we need to get done, and wait. Patiently.

If we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.Romans 8:25